The Rules

There are many rules to living in this house. Many many rules. That wouldn't be so bad except I usually don't know there is a rule pertaining to a specific situation until after I've broken it. Here's a sample of the new home rules:

1. No food or drink allowed out of the kitchen.
This is by far the most important and most violated rule in the house. My dad will remind any repeat offenders of the cost of the carpet upstairs, and that accidents may happen but they are not acceptable. He has a small camera that sits on the stairwell banister, supposedly for security purposes, and sets a timer on it overnight to snap pictures, so that if someone breaks in, he'd see them. I think this a cover up and that it's used to see if someone is bringing food downstairs. My sisters both lived at home last year and said they mastered the art of carrying food downstairs until pictures on my dad's cell phone carrying Popeye's bags proved otherwise.

2. No water may escape outside the bathtub for any reason.
When we were teens, we must have showered with the curtain open and dumped a bucket of water on the bathroom floor for good measure. Or there were just four people in and out of that bathtub throughout the day and water inevitably got on the floor, and we were much too lazy to wipe it up because there is a water stain over the garage that sparks the nagging of the shower. I don't know, living on my own for several years and having my own things, I'd *hope* I'm a bit neater about the water on the bathroom floor. Then again, the ex complained one time he couldn't wear socks in the bathroom after I showered, so perhaps I've never learned. I shower at 6:30am, and no one is up, so I only hear this on the weekends or the occasional evening when my dad feels like he may have forgotten to remind me, "there better not be any water on the bathroom floor!" My sister was home much of the day when she lived there, and can testify that if you shower when he's home, he will remind you...every time you take a shower.

3. Do not go upstairs Sunday night after 9pm and dad is on the computer....
Unless you want to be roped into watching "Corner Gas" for an hour at the laptop.

Just kidding. I actually enjoy "Corner Gas."

4. DO NOT EVER GO NEAR DAD'S TRUCK.
My second week of living at the house, my dad was so kind as to help me check out some issues with the oil in my car. Before we could do this, he asked me to help him carry a trashcan to the curb. My keys in my right hand and the garbage can handle in my left, I helped as we walked between his truck and my mom's car. Now, the motion of walking caused my arms to swing a little more exaggeratedly and in doing this, my tiny flashlight on my key ring ever so lightly tapped my dad's truck. My dad immediately stopped walking, set down the trashcan, and with his bulging eyes, turned to me, then to his truck to inspect any scratches. Then got on me about potential scratches. Then wanted me to examine where other "scratches" were on his truck. Lesson learned- do not, under any circumstance, park next to, walk next to, swing arms next to dad's truck.